I found Fair Play because I needed support.

 

Like many couples, after welcoming children, my partner and I fell into traditional gender roles. I stayed home to care for our babies and took on the bulk of the parenting and household responsibilities. Between breastfeeding, caring for our children, and our home, I was working (inside the home) 90+ hours per week. I was exhausted but sold myself the story that this was normal.

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After a couple of years, I chose to return to work full-time outside the home and remained responsible for the bulk of the domestic labor. I felt like I was failing as a professional, a mom, and in taking care of our home. There was no space for me in my life. 

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Although I was living in a sea of overwhelm and resentment, It ultimately took a health scare for me to wake up. I realized I didn't have to accept my reality. My partner and I had a choice. 

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I became obsessed with creating a new reality: one in which my partner and I were more connected, he felt empowered at home, and I had a much shorter to-do list.

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I saw how I was complicit in my oppression and was constantly making decisions that perpetuated the inequities in my household. I started making different choices and setting boundaries that honored my needs.

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As much as I tried, I couldn't figure out how to share the mental load. Fair Play was the missing piece. We now have:

• a shared vocabulary for talking about domestic life,

• a system for re-distributing household chores, and

• a common goal to stop doing things that don't align with our values. 

My partner feels more ownership and I no longer have to nag. We both have more time to pursue what lights us up. Our household is more peaceful.

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While Fair Play was not an overnight fix, I started feeling relief quickly. Our success inspired me to become a Fair Play Facilitator.